motivating marriages exists to see couples not just survive marriage,
but to thrive in it, and be all the more better for having chosen to love

It is our personal and professional mission that all people have the opportunity to learn what it is to really love.

 
 
Adrian-2.jpg

principal psychologist director

Adrian Lumbewe

B.Psych, M.Psych (Forensic), MAPS
Principal Psychologist
Senior Partner

Adrian is a fully registered psychologist with the Psychology Board of Australia, is a registered Medicare provider, an authorised WorkCover provider, and is a member of the Australian Psychological Society. 

Kerrie-2.jpg

principal psychologist director

Kerrie Lumbewe

B.S.Sc (Crim,Psych), P.Grad.Dip.Psych, A/MAPS
Principal Psychologist
Senior Partner

Kerrie is a fully registered psychologist with the Psychology Board of Australia, is a registered Medicare provider, an authorised WorkCover provider, and is an Associate Member of the Australian Psychological Society.

 
 

How it all started

We were married in 2008, and in that same year, Motivating Minds Psychological Practice, our first psychology practice, was established.  To this day Adrian and Kerrie still own and operate Motivating Minds, located in Engadine, a southern suburb of Sydney, Australia.     

Now before we get into how Motivating Marriages Psychology came to be, let’s rewind to some years prior:

We met behind bars.

No, you didn’t misread. We met in prison. For the first few years of our professional careers, we were psychologists within the Department of Corrective Services in NSW. Adrian had just completed his internship, and had become a registered psychologist, and Kerrie was in the process of becoming registered. Adrian had accepted a transfer into the prison where Kerrie was working. And that’s how we met…

At least, that’s the story Kerrie likes people to know. The real story of how we met – the way that Adrian likes to remind Kerrie – begins in 1998.  Adrian caught a glimpse of Kerrie on their University campus, where they stood waiting for a lecture to start.  Kerrie, with her jet-black hair (as it was at the time) didn’t see Adrian.  But Adrian definitely noticed her.  After that one-sided interaction, we didn’t see each other for several years.

However, Kerrie had no choice but to acknowledge Adrian a few years later, when the two of them turned up to the same job interview. As it turned out, we were going for the same psychologist position.  Adrian recognized Kerrie in the waiting room, even though she had now gone blonde. Being the gentleman that Adrian is – not allowing rivalry to get in the way of chivalry – he offered Kerrie a cup of water from the water dispenser. Kerrie glanced up, and politely, yet flatly and adamantly declined the offer. She couldn’t allow a moment of kindness to get in the way of rivalry! No one, but no one was going to get in her way of getting that job!

Can you guess who got the job in the end…?

About 10 years later, we were married and had established our first business, Motivating Minds Psychological Practice. We have been blessed with a warm, compassionate, friendly, and professional team of psychologists and administration staff. We assess and treat a wide range of psychological presentations in children through to adults and we now specialize in the treatment of couples using Gottman Method Couples Therapy. 

A few years ago, as our Practice began nearing its first decade, and just when we began to feel settled within our professional circumstances, we discovered Gottman Method Couples Therapy. As psychologists, and as husband and wife, we were riveted to our seats as we began to absorb the findings and applications of this groundbreaking research into what makes relationships work.  We remember the moment we looked at each other, in our Level One training in Melbourne, and just smiled.  Kerrie describes this moment as “feeling as though she was personally and professionally home – that this is what love is!”  Adrian remembers thinking, “oh no she’s hooked – there’s no turning back now!” Having set out to do ‘a bit of couples therapy training’, little did we know that we would be stumbling upon a career and life changing therapy that had so accurately identified the root causes of pain and suffering in relationships.  Suffering that, if left unmanaged, leads to relationship dissatisfaction, deterioration, and for many relationships, an eventual demise.  But what’s more, it taught us how to teach our clients, and ourselves, how to build a strong, satisfying, and lasting relationship.

 


Our training in Gottman Therapy cemented something that we had already come to know as psychologists; that an individual client’s mental health can often be traced back to the dysfunction in their most intimate relationship – their marriage.  This is a concept we had termed as clients ‘telling of their story of suffering through a relationship lens’.  In practical terms, for example a man with anger and depression, often tells us he feels disrespected, unappreciated, misunderstood or disconnected from his wife.  A woman, presenting with anxiety often tells her story in the context of her partner not understanding what it is like to be home with the kids all day, not having enough quality time, and feeling unsupported and lonely.  These are our clients stories of suffering…told through a relationship lens.  

So with our love of all things Gottman, we continued our training and have now completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 of Gottman Method Couples Therapy.  Additionally, Kerrie has travelled to the USA to become trained as a Gottman Leader in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and Bringing the Baby Home.  

All of this laid the foundation for the creation of Motivating Marriages Psychology.  Motivating Marriages exists because of what Adrian calls ‘another one of Kerrie’s hair brain schemes’.  Tongue in cheek of course, whilst her business ideas are big and bold he is always quick and grateful in saying that Kerrie is the ideas person and he is the executioner.  Motivating Marriages exists because of our love for our profession, for marriage, for relationships and for each other.

We see Motivating Marriages, as an opportunity to extend what we had set out to do in our original practice 10 years prior, to reach people who are suffering.  With Motivating Marriages we want to go one step further, we want to reach into the heart of where we all want suffering to cease, where we long to be known, to be cared for and to be connected – in our relationships.

Our desire is to teach couples how to love their relationships and love each other. Motivating Marriages Psychology was created out of our hope to see every committed relationship thrive in emotional intimacy and security, for partners to work together towards the goals and promises they made to each other when they first committed to one another, for partners to navigate through inevitable conflict without damaging each other, and for relationships to effectively and emotionally nurture children.

If this is your desire too, whether you’re in a married, de facto, engaged, or in a committed relationship, whether your relationship is in a blossoming euphoria, a mundane routine, or if it’s in the depths of torment, please get in touch with us.

Relationships are hard. We know. Our own marriage has times when we feel so connected with each other that we feel we could take on the world together. But we also have times when we throw all of our knowledge, wisdom, and grace out the window, and we treat each other very poorly. This is the truth about committed relationships. We would love to walk a small part of your relationship’s journey, with you. Contact us, and come along to one of our workshops, to learn what it is to really love.

And in case you’re still wondering… Adrian ended up getting the job.