Which One Is Right for Us? Couples Therapy or Individual Therapy?
When your relationship starts to feel tumultuous or as if the two of you are drifting away from each other again, working out what you need and where to seek help can feel overwhelming. One of the biggest questions people face is whether to seek help together through couples therapy, or to work on things individually through personal therapy. Both paths offer beneficial outcomes, but they serve different purposes and can produce different types of change. When money and time are so precious, you want to make sure you make a wise decision.
Couples Therapy:
Focusing on the Relationship Dynamic and Patterns
Couples therapy involves both partners attending sessions together with shared goals of improving the relationship which may include communication skills, emotional connection, reducing conflicts or rebuilding trust. Our therapists who are trained in evidence-based couples counselling modalities like Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) or the Gottman Method will guide partners to understand how the patterns and dynamics they co-create and then help them move from disconnection to reconnection.
Couples who engage in therapy show greater improvement than approximately 80% of those who experience relationship difficulties but do not pursue treatment.
Individual Therapy:
Focusing on Your Internal Experiences
Individual therapy concentrates on your personal experience and perspective. It allows you to explore how your own emotions, behaviours, expectations, relationship history and expectations might be affecting how you relating to your partner.
From healing your past attachment wounds to building emotional regulations skills or gaining clarity in love, individual therapy offers a safe, empowering space to begin your own personal journey of reflection and insight.
When to Choose Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is especially helpful whereby:
Your conversations regularly escalate into arguments or an icy shutdown.
You feel distant, misunderstood, or emotionally disconnected.
Physical and emotional intimacy has reduced.
The trust has been broken.
You want to fix the relationship but you are not sure where to start or what to prioritise first.
Working together in a neutral therapeutic space with a therapist present can slow down and reset your repetitive and reactive cycles and allow each partner to respond with greater empathy, curiosity, and care.
The Sooner, The Better
At some point in a couple’s life there may be a moment where one partner will decide now is the time to try to improve the quality of the relationship. The research evidence shows that couples who seek relationship counselling earlier tend to have higher success rates. Unfortunately, according to Gottman Institute research, most couples wait six years before seeking help and while it is never too late to seek help, booking in with a relationship counsellor sooner improves your outcomes statistically. This research finding makes instinctive sense that the longer couples use an unhelpful strategy, the longer issues have the opportunity to spiral and build.
When Individual Therapy Is the Best Fit
Individual therapy may be more suitable if:
You are personally unsure whether you want to stay in the relationship.
You have noticed your mental health symptoms have been negatively affecting the relationship.
You want to understand how your attachment style or past relationships affect your current emotional and behavioural patterns.
You seek to learn or improve your skills in communication, boundary setting and emotion regulation.
The one-on-one therapy session format can provide the insight and focus on your own areas of reflection to utilise within your relationship.
Can You Do Both at the Same Time?
Absolutely. Many of our MM clients choose to participate in both couples and individual therapy, sometimes simultaneously. When coordinated carefully, these two differing therapy approaches can complement and support each other.
Don’t Let Decision Freeze Keep You Stuck!
Whether you choose to begin with couples therapy or individual therapy, simply starting with some professional psychological support is a successful step towards effective change. All relationships will bloom and benefit from the support, intentional insight, and deliberate focus on growth. As the research shows, one of the most important parts is just starting!
If you're still uncertain or confused just give Kristyn from our helpful MM team a call on 0472 913 604, check out our informative website or flick us an email at enquiries@motivatingmarriages.com.au
We’re here to help.
By Carlie Kowald